Don't call me "Xiao Jie"!

In Singapore, we often have the habit of addressing a gentleman as "先生" (xian sheng) or a lady as "小姐 ” (xiao jie) in Chinese. This form of address is especially useful when we are addressing a stranger or when we are addressing a waiter/waitress/salesperson in Chinese.

However, things seem to be rather different in Beijing. I will take this opportunity to recount an event that my mother and I faced when we were holidaying in Beijing 3 months ago.

The incident happened when we were having our lunch in a Chinese restaurant on the first day of our tour in Beijing. When my mother reached out to a waitress and called her "小姐", the smile on the waitress' face quickly fade away and she just turned and walked away. My mother called out a few more times but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. Luckily our tour guide heard my mother and requested the waitress to attend to us.

At first, I was quite offended by the waitress' attitude. Personally, I feel that her service needs to be improved. If this had happened in Singapore, the restaurant would probably receive a letter of complaint from the customer.

When we had finished our lunch and returned to our bus coach, our tour guide explained to everyone that "小姐" is actually used to address girls working as hostess in nightclubs. Instead, we should address a lady as "姑娘" (gu niang) or waitress as “服务生” (fu wu sheng). For a man, we should address him as 师夫 (shi fu, meaning master), especially if he is skilled in a certain trade. Now we understand why the waitress totally ignored us and gave us a cold shoulder. She feels that it is demeaning and may even think that we were insulting her when we addressed her as "小姐".

From the above incident, it can be seen that even though we are of the same race, different countries will have different cultural background and understanding towards the same words. It is always wise to find out more about the country's social customs, from greetings to business dealings, so as to avoid any misunderstandings or conflict. It is also important to be versatile and there may be a need to adjust the way you interact with people when you are in a foreign country.

For me, I have resolved not to call any China ladies "小姐" after this incident. However my mother kept forgetting that this is a taboo phrase and would call out once in a while. I was always the one who had to apologise profusely to the ladies after that.

Note: We can see that English words also have different meanings in different cultures too. Here is a table that indicates that some English words have different meaning in Britain and America. (You may click on the table to see an enlarged version.)

Business Correspondence Letter Critique

This is a business letter that my father has received. It is a letter of request asking my father to update his personal particulars. The organization has attached a form for him to fill in the amendments. Information on his personal particulars is on the left column of the form and my father is required to fill in the amendments on the lines given on the right column of the form.

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19 January 2009

Mr Chan See Kiong
Cheong Hei Engineering Services Private Limited
7 Lorong 7 Papaya Industrial Park
#01-7890
Singapore 319980

Dear Mr Chan

RE: UPDATING OF MEMBERS’ PARTICULARS

We wish you A Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year!

We are conducting a Member Updating Exercise, please find enclosed a set of your information on the left and the space provided on the right is for you to amend with your latest information. All information will be handled with strict confidentiality.

We would also appreciate very much if you could furnish us with a photocopy of your marriage certificate and your children’s birth certificate(s), if applicable.

We have also attached the new car decal for your retention. Please fill in your Car Registration Number and Membership Number on the decal before displaying it on the car windscreen.

Kindly complete the Member’s Particular Forms and return to us, with the business envelope provided, within 21 days from receipt of this letter. Otherwise we will assume all information is accurate.

Your co-operation and consideration is very much appreciated.

Thank you.

Yours faithfully,
Flower Village Club
ROSEJOY
Rose Joy Foo
Membership Administration Department

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I feel that the writer is very friendly because she started the letter with a greeting. She is also courteous when she wrote “we would appreciate very much” to persuade the reader to fulfill her request. The letter was also complete as the writer managed to relay all necessary information to the reader. For example, instructions were given to teach reader how to fill in amendments on the form and when to return the amended form to the organization. Overall, information was conveyed clearly to the reader. Upon reading the letter, the recipient will understand what the writer is trying to convey.

However, I think the tone of the letter will be more formal and appropriate if she could end the letter with well wishes instead of starting the letter with a greeting. Furthermore, the letter was also not concise enough. The letter was filled with many long sentences and the writer could actually use fewer words to convey her message across. For example, instead of writing, “Kindly complete the Member’s Particular Forms and return to us, with the business envelope provided, within 21 days from receipt of this letter.”, she can write “Please return the completed form to us via post by 10th February 2009”.

Moreover, there are some language errors in the letter too. Instead of writing, “please find enclosed”, the writer can consider writing, “enclosed is”. There should not be any capitalization for “Car Registration Number”, “Membership Number” and “Member’s Particular Forms” unless the form was titled this way. Furthermore, she should end the letter with “Yours sincerely” since she knows the name of the reader.

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Here is an improved version of the letter.

Dear Mr Chan,

RE: UPDATING OF MEMBERS’ PARTICULARS

We are conducting an updating exercise on our members’ particulars. Enclosed is a form for you to amend your personal particulars. Please fill in the amendments on the right column of this form. We would appreciate very much if you could furnish us with a photocopy of your marriage certificate and your children’s birth certificate(s), if applicable.

We have also attached the new car decal for your retention. Please fill in your car registration number and membership number on the decal before displaying it on your car windscreen.

Please return the completed form to us via post by 10th February 2009. Your cooperation is much appreciated.

We wish you a happy and prosperous Chinese New Year.


Yours sincerely,
Flower Villa Club
ROSEJOY
Rose Joy Foo
Membership Administration Department

An interpersonal conflict with your supervisor

A few years back, I worked as a relief teacher in a primary school located at Ang Mo Kio. In the school, every teacher is accountable to their head of department (HOD) or supervisor. It is the supervisor’s responsibility to guide new teachers and provide them with any assistance if they face any problem in the school. When I was working in the school, I got to know of a female teacher who was new to the job. I was quite close to this teacher and hence I got to learn about an interpersonal conflict she experienced with her supervisor.

She mentioned that her supervisor was particularly strict with her and would check the books of her students frequently to make sure that she has marked them. Sometimes, the supervisor would also attend her class so as to check her performance. Since she was new to the environment and the job of a primary school teacher was not particularly easy, she found that it was really difficult to handle the students and the workload. To make matters worse, her supervisor was rather harsh towards her and would berate her whenever she did something wrong.

One day, the female teacher broke down in front of me and told me that her supervisor reprimanded her in front of her class, just because she did not marked the corrections that the students did. The teacher felt that her supervisor did not give her any respect in front of her students and had treated her like one of his student and not as a colleague. This incident causes her to lose confidence in herself and she felt that she was unsuitable for the job. After teaching for half a year in the school, she decided to leave the teaching line.

If you were the female teacher, what would you do if your supervisor was particular mean to you and seem to pick on you for every little mistake you had done? From the supervisor’s point of view, how would you guide this new teacher in the spirit of excellence?